From Halloween and New York Comic Con preparations to studying for midterms and digging out scarves, October means a lot of things to a lot of people. For me, October is the month of new beginnings—it is to me what January is to most people.
My year starts in October because this is my birthday month. This was the month I was born, the month I started life, and so every year, this is the month I reflect on how I have lived, make my resolutions for a happier, healthier life, and then start again.
This year, my main resolution is to make my health—mental, emotional, and physical—my top priority. I struggled a lot this year with juggling the expectations I had for myself and the expectations others had for me, I struggled with my feelings of helplessness at the state of the world as well as the state of my own life, and I struggled with the fear at the decisions those in power were making—and the consequences of those decisions trickling down to me.
Most of all, I struggled with being happy, because I struggled with my writing. I can break down this year into a series of hiatuses separated by brief periods where I managed to write regularly only to succumb again to the hiatus. Writing was always as natural to me as breathing, so for me not to be able to write anymore—some days, I felt like I was drowning, and other days, I felt like I was suffocating. Simply put, I couldn’t breathe anymore.
Reflecting on this past year, I can say I am most proud of starting therapy, but it’s not as easy as putting a bandaid on my brain. Although my therapist had managed to spur my writing at first, I have, once again, succumbed to the hiatus. It’s not that my passions or dreams have changed—I think about writing all the time, I’m constantly coming up with ideas or jotting down random lines of poetry, but my brain is dark and messy and unfocused. Sometimes, it doesn’t even feel like my brain at all. It’s a constant struggle sorting through the thoughts, trying to figure out which ones are mine.
Still, October marks the start of everything I love: warm scarves, hot tea, leather jackets, golden leaves, longer nights, all my favorite holidays, comic con, the list goes on. October is comforting and magical, all at once. October gives me hope, because it’s a little easier to remember who I am when I’m surrounded by so many things that bring me joy and light.
On that note, I will leave you all with my two favorite October quotes:
I wish this October brings you all as much comfort and peace as it brings me.
Happy birthday Jade. Hope this year is way better than the last one. All the best. ❤️
Thank you Sadje, for both the birthday wish and the kind words! I’m grateful for your support 🙂 All the best to you as well!
Thanks Jade! It’s a pleasure
I loved the second quote! Your October is my August. Last year, that month a lot went down in my life. Maybe it’s true that that could have been the start of a new journey. I wish you a good October and good luck with therapy.
Ahh happy Belated!! I’m sorry to hear a lot went down in your month last year but I hope this year has been and will be better 🙂
happy birthday and happy new year!!
im glad to see some else doing the same as me about my birth month (mine is september)
Happy Belated Birthday!! And thank you for the lovely birthday wish! 😊
thank you and you are most welcome
Happy Birthday Jade. May this year bring you joy in your heart and many smiles. 🙂
Hurray for October Jade…happy birthday…and i will keep you in my heart and in my thoughts😊😊😊
Thank you Michnavs! You and your girls are in my heart and thoughts as well.
P.S. I finished my Ravenclaw cosplay for Comic Con this year! I’ll be sharing some photos soon, look forward to it! 😀
Yey…will wait for that photo..
Aww Charlie, thank you! I hope this year brings you joy and many reasons to smile as well. 😊
You are welcome Jade.
Happiness for the world and peace. 🙂
Happy New Year & birthday, Jade! I love the magic and comfort of the autumn months, I hope the beautiful light this season reveals chases away the darkness for you, my friend.
Thank you Kim! Yes, there is something so magical and comforting about the colors and atmosphere of the autumn months. I also feel like everyone becomes a little kinder and happier, the closer we are to the christmas holidays :). I hope you are doing well, and are happy, my friend! 💜
I’m currently in the throes of a cold but hot cups of tea laced with cranberry honey and cozy blankets are helping (as well as tucking in early with a good book!).
Oh no, I hope you’re feeling better!
I’m feeling so much better now, thank you!
I hope you have a gorgeous October. Happy birthday.
Thank you very much! October has been quite amazing so far. I hope you’re enjoying it as well!
[…] because I was struggling a lot with my mental health last year and, for the first time in my life, I was struggling with writing itself, I’m back now with the realization that writing will always be what I am meant to do. […]